When one enters into a committed relationship, sexual activity with any person other than the chosen partner stops. If sexual activity occurs outside of this relationship it is consider a betrayal of trust, and the person who went outside of the relationship is considered a cheater. However, if one enters into an open relationship, sexual activities with others may still occur. Swinging is a lifestyle choice that some adults in committed but open relationships enter into freely.
Swinging is defined as non-monogamous sexual activity, treated much like any other social activity, which can be experienced as a couple. Couples who engage in swinging activities say that they swing so that they don’t cheat. Swingers mutually agree to have sexual relations with other people with their partners consent. They do not view this activity as cheating. They view swinging as a way to strengthen their relationship with their partner while keeping the relationship exciting. In fact, results from an Internet swingers survey, indicate that swingers tend to be happier in their relationships than those in a monogamous relationship.
Swingers clubs offer swingers a location to meet other couples interested in swinging. Most major cities in North America and Western Europe have at least one swingers club that operates in a permanent location. It is estimated that there are over 3000 swingers clubs world wide. Swingers clubs can be on premise clubs or off premise clubs. On premise swingers clubs allow swinging activities to occur at the club. Most on premise clubs do not serve alcohol but swingers are encouraged to bring their own. Off premise swingers clubs do not permit the swinging activities to occur on site, but the club staff arranges for the activities to occur at nearby locations.
Activities at swingers clubs can vary. Some of the more common activities include exhibitionism, voyeurism, soft swinging, and full swap. Exhibitionists have sex with others while being watched. Voyeurism is when one watches others having sex. Soft swinging or soft swap involves kissing, stroking, or oral sex with a third or fourth person. This can be a threesome, group sex, or swapping partners. A full swap is having penetrative sex with someone other than one’s partner. When most people think of swingers they think of a full swap. While full swapping is common, it is not the activity that swingers engage in most frequently.
Traditionally, swingers clubs are accepting of all ages and body types. In fact, the average age of a swinger is forty-five years old. Some swingers groups are becoming more selective, however. Some private swingers parties are restrictive as to whom they let participate. If one is interested in club swinging for the first time, it would be wise to check into the policies of the club before attending.
Swingers clubs generally fly under the radar. Sites such as swingersclublist.com, sexxymofo.com, and realswingers.com/club can be utilized to find a swingers club just about anywhere in North America. One may be surprised to find out that a swingers club just may be in his or her hometown.
Swingers
Swinging. I am sure everyone has heard this term before. If not, swinging is defined as a form of recreational, social, and sexual intercourse between consenting adults. Swingers commonly consist of male/female couples meeting with other male/female couples for sex and ongoing intimacy.
My knowledge on what happens at these parties was very limited until I watched this documentary about swinging. I selected the play button with wide eyes and many questions…What kind of people go to these parties? How do they work? Does kissing, caressing and having sex with another person outside of a couple’s relationship not affect their relationship? Well, I believe I found my answers…
The Five W’s of Swinging
Who – The majority of swingers are middle to upper class married couples.
The people attending the party on the documentary seemed like everyday people. I guess in my little immature mind, I was thinking it would be like a party at the Play Boy mansion. And for those of you who also thought that, let me burst your bubble right now!
It always amazes me when people participate in a risque documentary. Their faces are shown, their naked bodies are shown…no bashfulness once so ever – which for some is ok at a party but this is on video for everyone to see forever! Even their MAMA’s could watch this!
What – The swinger lifestyle is to simply give and receive pleasure. There are three types of swinger lifestyles. Soft (a couple has sex among others but no intercourse with others), Open (an orgy), and Closed (partners swap but have sex is separate rooms).
When – Swinging was believed to have started in the 1950’s.
This documentary focuses on a couple (Gary and Margaret) that throw a party twice a month. All couples must pay a fee upon entering the party ($30 per couple). Drinks and snacks seemed to be provided.
Where – Gary and Margaret use their house for swinging parties. The house had certain rooms for ‘entertaining’. The backyard holds a huge pool (where the water was kept very warm) and a big pool house. The pool house has a handful of private rooms (curtains for doors) and one large orgy room.
Why – Some people seem to get bored with their marriages/relationships after many years of being together and want to spice their sex lives up.
How - How do you approach someone? The answer is basically you flirt with someone you are interested in…if they flirt back then there is a good chance they want to be with you too!
Everyone has the right to say no and to change their mind. Respect is key. As well, you are expected to bring your own condoms.
Relationship Dynamic
Through out the documentary, I observed the swinging couple (Gary and Margaret). Gary seemed to fill the dominate roll. He made a lot of the decisions and Margaret just agreed. An example is at a garage sale, she suggested they buy quite a few items. He says no to all of her requests (or so is shown on the documentary). They never show Gary asking Margaret if they should buy things. They did walk away with almost too much to carry so it seemed he was the decision maker.
Another scene is where the documentary interviewer (Louis) is asking Gary if he just flirted with a woman in a lingerie store. Gary said that he didn’t, but that he thought she might want to come to the swingers parties. Then Louis is with Margaret and he wants to ask the grocery cashier to the party. Margaret said no because you have to come as a couple. This left me confused as it seemed Gary didn’t follow the same rules…
To make a long story short, Louis finds a girl (Lisa) to take to the swingers party (she answers an ad where Louis requests a girl to attend a swingers party with him).
Gary was heavily flirting with Lisa and is totally in to her. He is chatting it up, being affectionate (which I never saw him be with his wife), flirting, having a good time and Margaret is sitting at the door by herself.
Louis questions Margaret as to why she is not in the back yard having fun. Margaret explains that the front door needs watching. Margaret looks after the front door (house) and Gary looks after the back yard.
When Louis and Lisa leave, Gary is still flirting with Lisa – right in front of Margaret. Gary and Lisa did not have sex (at least I don’t think they did) but the interest seemed mutual.
The following day Louis asks Margaret what she thought of Lisa. Margaret makes some polite comments but you can see her expression changes. Then she excuses herself to the other room.
I don’t think you have to be a genius to see how swinging is affecting their relationship. It didn’t seem to make them closer as a couple or improve their relationship – at least from my perspective.
I wish Louis had found out how often Gary and Margaret had sex with each other? I have a number in mind but I will let you decide for yourself.
To Swing or Not To Swing,After watching this documentary, I definitely won’t be attending a swingers party – not that I was planning on going to one anyway. It is just not for me. I like being emotionally attached to sex. I do not want to be so emotionally detached from my partner that seeing him be sexual with another woman doesn’t bother me. I think it should bother me. I don’t know, maybe I have a naive perspective on the whole thing. The idea of it might be appealing for some but I would bet that the reality of it would ruin many a relationship.
For Girls Who Like Wine and Love Conversation
Girls Uncorked is a social organization and not-so-secret wine society that hosts monthly events for women in the swinging lifestyle who enjoy raising a glass or two with swinger friends. There are no fees or charges of any kind, just a lot of fun.
You can call it networking, but our parties are not at all about business, they are just a time to relax, break away from the daily stress and socialize with friends. Girls Uncorked is an amazing group of young, connected and beautiful swingers who like to get together (usually about 40 at a time), meet new friends, throw our heads back, kick up our heels (usually nice ones) and drink some delicious wine.Girls Uncorked, where wine and conversation break free (it's not really about the wine, after all!)
Swingers in Las Vegas
Las Vegas Swingers, the words just seem to go together. This is the place where, sooner or later, everyone comes to party. So it must be an amazing local scene, right?
We’ve been here for 3 months now, having moved to what we call Kasidie Mansion Las Vegas. The city is fantastic, with it’s positive energy, phenomenal restaurants, endless attractions and non-stop partying. But the little known truth is that there aren’t non-stop swinger parties. For a list of Las Vegas swinger parties, click here to see the Kasidie party postings page where clubs and event promoters advertise their swinger parties for free.
There are the parties we’ve started hosting here at Kasidie Mansion. And there are weekly meet & greets hosted by PurrfectLV at the House of Blues Foundation Room (Mandalay Bay) that get a hot crowd. And that’s pretty much it, other than a few house parties and a handful of clubs with bad reputations as hangouts fo single guys, old folks, and hookers. We tried to get the best of the bunch, Couples Oasis, engaged and advertising (for free) their parties on Kasidie but they seem to have trouble doing anything and last we heard are trying to sell out.
We’ve asked around, and many people say the lack of a community is due to oppressive law enforcement and the transient nature of the population.
To the latter I call bullshit. This is a city of 2 million people. Only a handful are transient and even less work in hospitality that requires their nights and weekends. Most are regular folks working 9 to 5 and building their lives here.
The former seems to be somewhat true. For a place that calls itself “Sin City” it is decidedly not. There are a few topless pools, most of which charge exorbitant fees to enter. But lifestyle clubs are frowned upon and harassed. Heck, at the Fetish Ball here a couple of weeks ago the city required pasties on girls even if they wore sheer tops. Compare that to San Francisco where people were nude and some of the stage performers were having sex. Why is Las Vegas so prude? No answer to that.
So the swinger scene flounders here. There are some amazing parties and even hotel takeovers hosted by various lifestyle clubs throughout the year. But other than that, there isn’t anything that we personally want to go to other than the PurrfectLV meet ups.
To us, this is just unacceptable. We aren’t party promoters, and don’t want to be, but in the absence of any we’ve decided to jump into the void. And as people such as HeavenLasVegas and others raise their hands to start hosting swinger parties we will gladly stand aside and let people use our home. But we do need to operate within the laws of the city (which, we understand, means no selling alcohol…and that’s okay).
We had a couple of pool parties, which were a blast. And we’ll start those up again in the spring as the weather heats up.Nicoleta has started a Las Vegas chapter of Girls Uncorked, and that’s growing nicely. She had 11 girls at the last one, and we will have up to 100 people at the couples swinging holiday party in December.
And we’re going to host a New Years Eve party.
After that, we’ll probably start hosting house parties a couple of times a month.
There are swingers in Las Vegas. There needs to be a swingers scene here. So we’re going to start it.
